I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
