I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Enjoy the penises
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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