I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
