How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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