lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
