You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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