And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
