Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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