so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
