Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
