this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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