i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
