I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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