I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
