kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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