i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
