You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
