sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I didn't notice because vodka
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
