Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
