This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Even my vagina gasped.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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