My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
