How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
