allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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