just tell him i said nine months
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
