Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
