remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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