Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
