Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
