Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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