I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We have started to decorate penises.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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