i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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