Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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