I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
