oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
