I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
