After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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