Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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