I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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