I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
please come you make the beer taste better
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
