She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
