Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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