and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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