I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
