if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
