I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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