Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
