I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
