S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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