I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
