I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
