the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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