I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
