Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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